Newman "Spooky Cliff" Robertson
Stoner, pothead, amateur hour ghost hunter.
High Concept: Amateur Hour Ghost Hunter
Trouble: Tends to Summon Giant Marshmallow Men
Fate points: 3
Phase Trio Aspects:
Whatever Happened to Peace, Love, and Understanding (Asylum Adventure)
Same Shit, Different Day (Haunted Playground)
Bong MacGuiver (Clingy, Dead Ex-GF)
+3: Burglary, Investigation
+2: Drive, Crafts, Notice, Shooting
+1: Athletics, Deceit, Fighting, Contacts
Always a Way Out (Burglary, +2 to set aspects to escape bad situations)
I’ve Read About That! (FP, Use Lore for one non-Lore roll if justified that he read about it)
Pedal to the metal (tie = success, success = success with style wi FP)
“Are you ready for this? I’m about the tell you something that’s going to get you ball deep in the metaphysical vag of the universe. drag Man, this stuff is some good shit. Don’t judge me, man… stuff like this aligns your chakras and shit. From your third eye up here, to your one-eye trouser snake down here. Yeah, man, the universe is all about sex. I mean, think about this; like, what’s the big ting that God did? Made life, right? Well, guess what, people can make life, too. And get this, too; the earth is round and shit. What else is round? People eggs and also ovaries. Although ovaries are kind of football shaped and shit. Whatever… anyway… drag And what gender is Earth usually referred to? Female. So back when God said “Let there be life” and just, he was whipping out his big cosmic member and spooging all over the earth. He was all “Ah! Ah! Aaaaaaahhhhh!” and we’re, like, totally God’s sperm. I mean, some of us are those little retarded sperm that have no tails, or sperm crack heads, but get this. And this is where your mid is going to be blown. What do we do when we die? We get buried. We penetrate the Earth, like a sperm penetrating an egg. And that’s when we become a new form of life. Or maybe, the real life. I dunno. But you know all those retarded sperm? They turn into ghosts. They’re like, Special Olympics versions of the next life stage, man. And we have to help them run their Special Olympics races so that they can move on and stuff. Or, like, we put them in containment, ‘cause we are in Texas and it’s not like Texas is ashamed to put mentally challenged people into prison, and… man, is anyone hungry? I’m hungry. Let’s hit up the Taco Bell…"
Newman “Spooky Cliff” Robertson gets his name from his extensive – if not completely accurate – knowledge of all things paranormal. Thank you, Time Life’s Mysteries of the Unknown!
Newman had a pretty uninteresting life, growing up in the burbs of Southwest Houston. One could argue that he “pissed his life away” on pot, video games, and generally trying to avoid all responsibilities. One could argue that, but very few people would actually argue about that. Newman did have one hobby; an extensive love of all things paranormal. He devoured his mom’s collection of the aforementioned Time Life books, and decided to devote his life to exposing and studying the paranormal. It was about the only thing he was ever very passionate about.
He moved up to the DFW area to attend UTA, but used his parents’ college money to try and fund his own ghost hunting outfit. It was pretty much just him and a cheap camera. Still, he managed to gather enough will to go out to West Texas to explore a haunted insane asylum. The infamous “Harper Mason Sanitarium”.
Which was absolutely haunted. Back at the turn of the century, Psychologist Harper Mason set up the sanitarium in West Texas for the same reason anyone buys property; location, location, location. Specifically, the land was on an ancient, inoperative infernal machine that – when running – would have ripped the souls out of every human on the planet and made them subservient to the machine’s master. Dr. Mason wanted to be that master, and used the psychic energy in the broken minds of his patients to fuel the machine. He was just about to add the final tablespoon of energy to the machine when the locals showed up with pitchforks and torches. Things got messy. There was a fire. In the end, Dr. Mason and all of the patients at the sanitarium were killed.
When Newman showed up, he was able to contact Dr. Mason. Mistakenly believing that he had to help Dr. Mason move on by giving him one last patient to help, Newman poured out years of insecurities, pent up anxiety, and an odd attraction to his grandmother’s underwear, and single-handedly managed to jump start the machine. Oops. Thankfully, the also managed to single-handedly break the machine, too, completely and totally by accident. He had been compelled by Dr. Mason to plug in the last piece of equipment to send out the psychic shock-waves around the world, but plugged the electroshock generator in, instead, and did to with the polarity reversed, which eventually caused a second fire, resulting in the machine being destroyed.
He put his footage up on YouTube and somehow managed to gather quite the pageviews. He also had no idea how to monetize the footage (honestly, he saw this as an important service, no so much a moneymaking scheme).